My relationship with bilingualism is a long and storied history of turning tides. I have lived in Japan most of my life, at the time of writing this, having spent only 5 full years in the United States, the rest of the 13 here in Japan. Also, I am Japanese by nationality and the Japanese language comes just as natural to me. It is to the point where I think and dreams in Japanese. I speak Japanese with my parents, however, it is always English with my friends. When I lived in countries other than Japan, there was no need to use Japanese other than the daily conversations amongst my parents, so I have to say, my Japanese was starting to deteriorate. Once I moved back to Japan in 5th grade, I regained the skill again. I was in a Japanese speaking community, where communicating in that language was a necessity. On the other hand, during my 8th-grade summer holiday, I had a special experience to go to a Japanese middle school for 3 weeks. Then I realized that although my parents are both Japanese, I was I was called still called the “帰国子女” = “a returnee”. Therefore, I felt a distance from all the other students who were fully Japanese. Furthermore, I was embarrassed in their English class and was ashamed of being born in the States. However, when I reflect this experience now, I appreciate that in an international school, there are bilingual communities where mostly everyone spoke Japanese and English. So I strongly felt it was like entering my own country for the first time at the beginning of 9th grade. Then this experience leads me to take an IB Japanese A HL course at school. I am glad that I decided to take Japanese for my IB courses because it was a good opportunity to study in Japanese and up my language skills. Although I was born in America, I felt that it was necessary for me to understand and study at least the basics of Japanese. Overall I believe that would like to be proud of myself even if I am a ”帰国子女”.